


Collapse

by littlestarlight44



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst fic, Avengers Family, F/M, Guilty Steve, Natasha Has A Heart, Tony and Rhodey Friendship, Tony has a heart, attack on nyc, avengers helping steve, avengers taking care of wanda, bruce stays with avengers, clint has a heart, events take place after ultron before civil war, steve has a heart, wanda hurt, wanda injured
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 16:02:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20028505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlestarlight44/pseuds/littlestarlight44
Summary: After multiple attacks on New York City, the Avengers disperse to help disarm bombs and save civilians from crumbling buildings. When Wanda knows that a building is coming down with others still inside she makes sure that they can get out. But her family has to deal with the fallout.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! This is one of my first Avengers/Marvel fics so I'm open to comments and helpful criticism!

Even as he was thrown back, Steve stared back at the brunette in horror. 

_“Wanda!”_ Steve’s voice seemed to echo across the city. 

His hand outstretched to try and reach her’s.

A sound so loud it felt like his ears were bleeding.

The rubble falling in front of his view.


	2. Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! This is one of my first Avengers/Marvel fics so I'm open to comments and helpful criticism!

Steve punched the bag again, panting as he felt the strain of the force on his knuckles. His bare hands lost the feeling of the material of the bag at that point, only feeling something when the force was acted upon it. He gritted his teeth, keeping his stance, almost bouncing with readiness after each punch. His panting came with the rhythm of his punches,

_“We don’t have a lot of time.” Steve took a quick glance at his watch for the time. As they ran towards the steps, Steve moved the child at his hip slightly, hitching him up to get a better grip. _

_ “I want Mommy,” the child whimpered in his arms, feeling the child thin arms wrap around his neck tighter._

Steve sent another punch to the bag, eyes stark but unfocused.

_ “It’s going to be close,” Wanda panted as she ran after him, keeping a tight grip on the little girl in her own arms. _

Another loud echo of his knuckles hitting the bag filled the room. His breath tight as he breathed through his nose. 

_ “I’m right behind you. Keep running!”_

His brows furrowed closer together, each punch getting stronger as he ignored the bead of sweat running down the side of his face. 

_ “Steve! Steve, stop! You need to take her!”_

_ “What?!”_

_ “Steve, you need to take her! You need to take her now! Steve, take her!”_

His breathing became more ragged, both in a want to pant and from his chest tightening and struggling to take in breath.

_“Wanda!”_

The punching bag flew off of its chain handle and slammed into the wall, an echoing cracking sound heard after. Steve blinked rapidly, looking around to investigate the sound before he realized the pain in his knuckles, and that the bag was now slouched on the ground, like a fallen soldier laying by the crack in the wall of its last battle.

Damn, Tony was going to give him hell for that.

Coming out of his trance, Steve caught a bit as he gains his breath back. Panting, he looks down, flexing his fingers ever so slightly and stiff, sore, yet electric pain that illicit all the way up his arm from them.

He turns around, walking towards the water bottle he had set to the one side of the room of the indoor gym as he ran a hand through his hair. It was just him and the glistening exercise equipment, shining in the bright sunlight from the wall of windows on the one side. 

Screwing off the cap of the bottle, Steve took a few gulps before the AI’s voice rang out. 

“Steve Rogers, Boss has told me to inform you that Wanda Maximoff has returned from her brain scans. She has returned to the infirmary and is in Room 4.”

Looking back over his shoulder at the fallen punching bag, he decided that he would deal with it, and Tony, later. He sighed and nodded, letting his head hang down for a few seconds before he forced himself to get to his feet, his chest still heaving lightly from his lungs and heart cooling down from the activity. 

“Thank you, FRIDAY,” he tells the AI, taking one last gulp of water as he walks before twisting the cap back on, “tell them I’ll be down in a few minutes.” 

He grabs his one towel and pats his face. He sets the towel back down before he went to the elevator. Forcing the feeling of nausea away from him, Steve hits the button to his floor. He wanted to change first, freshen up slightly so that he didn’t go into the hospital room glistening like he was. Maybe his stomach would settle before then.

He almost laughed. 

After he had changed his shirt and splashed cold water on his face, Steve made his way down to the medical centre in the Tower. As he stepped into the room, none of his teammates commented on how he had taken longer than ‘a few minutes’, he admittedly took his time, letting himself stare in the mirror.

Steve stood outside of the doorway for a few seconds. When he saw that the room had a window to look inside, Steve’s eyes quickly moved to avoid looking through the blinds. He wasn’t nauseous anymore, he realized as he stared at the doorknob and watching his hand move up to hold and twist it.

But the heavy pit and emptiness felt worse.

His shoulders squared up as he opened the door and stepped inside. He was first greeted with the sounds of beeping monitors and a woman and a man talking that he didn’t recognize. A television. Even in the hospital rooms Tony made sure that there was some luxury in it.

He was quickly aware of all of his teammates eyes on him and he stared at all of them again. He hadn’t seen them since they came back and the Hulk helped to carry Wanda onto a stretcher that would take her to the medical wing. While Wanda had been through her tests, it looked like the other team members took time to clean themselves. Ashen faces as well as soil and cement dust was no longer clinging to their hair, faces, or clothing. All of them had also changed into something more casual and comfortable. 

He wasn’t surprised to see that Vision was on one side of the stretcher bed, Clint on the other, both of them holding one of Wanda’s hands. 

And Wanda

Steve gulped.

Dr. Cho had cleaned her up too. Her face was no longer dark and grey with dust from the cement that had fallen on her. She had also cleaned the cuts along her face and had already began to stitch her cuts, including the nasty gash that had been on her forehead when Steve removed the last cinderblock to reveal her face. Someone had cleaned and brushed out her hair too and Steve didn’t know who it was, but he was silently grateful. 

Her skin was still pale though, whiter than Steve had ever seen it. It was almost as grey as a stone. Her face didn’t look like it was her’s either. It was plain, dark, grey, nothing like what it usually was. He never realized how much Wanda’s smile could transform her face. Although half of her face was also covered by a tube that went into her mouth, and was strapped in by a larger white peace and elastic that went around her head to help hold it in place. The hospital gown also made her look smaller and more frail. If it weren’t for Vision and Clint being so close to her Steve might’ve sworn angrily that it wasn’t her. That the thing in the hospital bed looked similar to Wanda, but it wasn’t her. That the skin was as fake as it looked, like wax.

“Steve?” Clint’s voice was cautious, but gentle.

Realizing that he had been staring at Wanda for too long, Steve cleared his voice and looked around the room again. Although Natasha, Rhodey, and Sam were all standing up along the sides of the room, there was still one chair left empty in the corner of the room by the foot of the stretcher. Deciding that they didn’t want it, he moved to sit in the wooden chair.

“How is she doing?” Steve asked.

“Dr. Cho is still looking over all the tests and scans,” Natasha reported, pausing for a moment to look directly at Steve before she explained, “but she is sure that there was some bleeding in her brain from the impact, so she anticipates that there will likely be some brain damage."

He wasn’t completely sure if Dr. Cho had been qualified enough to look over brain scans, he thought she was just a geneticist. However, he understood when Tony talked to her that the other nurses that were generally employed in the Tower’s medical wing were more simple, hired by Tony for easy medical fixes that could occur to his Tower. He wanted to make sure that his employees were taken care of, but he also wasn’t expecting his employers to come into the medical wing unconscious and unable to wake up. But if Tony trusted her enough to go to her, Steve knew he could too. 

The news, and that knowledge, only made him feel worse. 

He looks around the room once more to see that there is still one face and body missing.

“Where’s Tony?” Steve asked.

“He’s still on the phone with Pepper,” Rhodey explained. “He called her the moment Wanda went in for the scans to let her know he was okay. He’s also trying to convince her to stay in Chicago.” 

Steve nodded. Tony’s anxiety was understandable, and he was glad that Pepper wasn’t in New York during all of this. He practically envied every person who wasn’t in New York City this morning. 

Almost as though they said his name too many times, the billionaire walked into the room. He was still in his clothing from this morning when they woke up, and he was wearing his glasses.

“Sorry,” Tony briefly said before he took a glance at Wanda. Steve watched as he too paused, before moving off to the side of the room, almost behind Vision and still beside Rhodey. “Did Dr. Cho explain anything yet?”

“No, she’s still looking over the scans,” Rhodey replied. 

Tony’s eyes glanced over to the television giving news reports on the attack on every channel. Steve’s eyes finally glanced up to it too to see a young brunette woman sitting at a blue desk with a blue background, a space for video and images close to her head as she talked.

“Do we know anything yet?” Tony asked.

“Fury hasn’t contacted us yet, so SHIELD is still investigating,” Natasha answered. “And from the news reports it looks like the city officials have no worthy leads either.”

Tony nodded, moving to place his hand under his classes before running a hand down his face.

“Is there anything we can do?” he asked.

There was a brief moment of silence before Steve saw Rhodey reach a hand over and pat Tony’s other arm. The brief smile on Tony’s face made Steve crave for some type of comfort like that.

In their silence, another voice filled the air.

“Some of the buildings that were targeted were banks and high schools, particularly schools with high testing results. Popular restaurants and shopping centres were also armed with bombs, as well as Stark Tower. However, employees are reporting that the building’s AI was able to detect the bomb upon arrival and it allowed everyone to evacuate safely before Manhattan’s own Tony Stark was able to disable it.”

“You’re the real hero, Vision, I had no idea what wire to cut,” Tony commented, annoyed. He was always a man of giving credit where credit was due. 

“They want to show a hero they would recognize I’m sure,” Vision told him, still holding Wanda’s hand, thumb stroking the top of her hand. “And you were the one who cut it ultimately.”

“There are still no suspects related to the terrorist attacks on New York and there are rumours circulating that SHIELD and the FBI are already picking up the case. There is also still no definite death toll from the attacks despite the last bomb going off hours ago this morning and all others being disarmed. The estimated total so far is 683, but firefighters and police officers are still canvasing torn down buildings and missing persons reports are still coming in. 

“Despite the number of deaths still rising, many people are insisting that the death toll would be much higher had it not been for the Avengers and their rescue efforts across the city. People are reporting that they were either evacuated quickly because of their help, or they were saved from affected buildings afterward.”

Sure enough, videos and images of the Avengers from the Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn, Manhattan came to the screen. Iron Man in the sky, using his technology to locate other bombs placed around the city along with War Machine. Images of the Hulk moving large portions of crippling buildings. Natasha even recognized herself on a very shaky video of her and Sam going into a synagogue. She remembered that one. She guided five teens and eight adults outsafely while Sam flew out a seven year old and a toddler in his arms. There were also images of firefighters going into burning or dilapidating buildings, police officers guiding civilians to emergency centers or going into buildings that Tony or Rhodey identified as targets and helping to evacuate. There was even a quick video of Clint rushing into a bank to help evacuate everyone inside once his ship that SHIELD sent for him landed.

“It’d be nice if they acknowledged that every police officer and firefighter was actively involved all over the city,” Clint muttered. 

The last six hours had been nothing but rushed panic. There was a methodical chaos in it, Natasha could always find it. She was trained to find and act in it. It kept her focused and calm. Tony and Rhodey found a pattern quickly, and they knew after that they had a short amount of time for the next phase of the bombs to go off. Once they figured out the pattern, after that it was disarming bombs and helping buildings that had been already affected. 

“When we tried to reach out to the Avengers and their contacts, they answered that they could not answer due to security reasons,” the reporter continued as the images of above New York City to survey the damage were still being shown on the right part of the screen. 

“However,” the female reporter continued, “reports from civilians on the ground and helicopter footage show that in the last explosion to rock the city at the Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center hospital that Avengers members Steve Rogers, more commonly known as Captain America, and Wanda Maximoff were reported to be in the building before it collapsed by emergency services. 

“Wanda Maximoff, more commonly known as the Scarlett Witch, was originally from Sokovia. As a young girl, after being orphaned due to civil conflict in the country, she and her brother joined HYDRA and agreed to be human test subjects for experimentation in creating super-humans before turning and joining the Avengers and fighting with Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America to stop Ultron in the Battle of Sokovia. There was tremendous controversy around her involvement and acceptance into the United States and on the Avengers team—”

“That’s enough,” Natasha commented, already bringing up the remote. Wanda saved hundreds of people today, and Natasha didn’t want to hear something that would make her want to go to those news stations and correct them herself. 

Natasha muted the television before anyone could open their mouths to ask them to turn it off. At least they could still see the recovering images of the city starting and stay alert to something new.

However, when it seemed that the news station was showing an image of the hospital Wanda and Steve were in before the collapse, Natasha immediately switched the channel to another new station, showing images of the city in the aftermath where they could get updates, but no hospital bomb footage.

Steve knew that everyone in the room was actively trying to not look at him even more so than he would feel their eyes on him if they were looking. Pursing his lips, Steve looked down for a moment before his eyes trailed to look at their battered teammate in the bed. The girl who spent hours going from affected building to the next, finding and walking survivors out of collapsed buildings or going to hospitals and gently lowering kids and adults stuck in stretchers or wheel chairs from higher floors back down to the ground to safety, the girl who wanted to protect everyone

_“Steve, bring the others!”_

“_That’s the last one, we need to leave!”_

_ “No…no it’s not!”_

_ “Wh—”_

_ “Steve, there are still kids in here!”_

_ He ran after her as she went deeper into the quickly dilapidating hospital, trying to keep up_

and this was where it got her. 

“How long will it be until we know something?” Steve asked.

“It depends on the brain,” Bruce considered. “It depends on what tests she did on Wanda, what the scans represent and if she needs more, trying to work out what the solution or results are to know how to treat the injury.”

Steve nodded, though he hated the answer.

“I know that he didn’t work with her as much as we did, but maybe we should try sending Thor a message about her condition,” Natasha commented.

Tony looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

“Do you even know how we would get in touch with him?” Tony asked incredulously. “He’s probably back in Asgard, or doing whoever knows what else.” 

Giving him a pointed glare, she replied calmly, “even if he doesn’t get it we should try; common courtesy. SHIELD might know a way.”

“He’s been gone for almost a year,” Tony replied.

Natasha’s brows furrowed.

“Why are you so hung up on this?” she asked, her glare burning now.

Tony, seemingly unaware of the look or rather was trying to match it, came back, “it’s one more thing to worry about! I already have to figure out how one of those packages managed to get so far past my own security, I have to deal with paid leaves for employees, I have to figure out how to fix all of the satellites and towers destroyed from the bombs around the city, I have to put my signature on likely hundreds of new cheques to authenticate them for fixing the buildings and helping with charities for funerals around the city. Not to mention, we may be asked to figure out who planned and executed all of this and I have enough to—”

“It’s not like you have to send the message yourself,” Natasha countered. Bruce was already shifting his weight from foot to foot, looking down. Natasha continued, “and SHIELD is already starting to figure out what to say to the press.”

“Oh, because the news reports explained how well that’s going,” Tony remarked.

There was a sudden bang as Clint slammed his fist into the wall beside him. The change in the atmosphere in the room was dramatic, a frozen silence immediately coming between all of them as their heads turned sharply towards the retired archer; who happened to be glaring between the two.

“Don’t do this now,” he told them, his voice thick with annoyance and sadness.

There was a few more moments of silence before Tony immediately replied, his face no longer contorted with frustration, but with guilt and of overwhelming-ness. 

“I’m sorry,” he told the redhead, his voice much softer now. 

“It’s alright,” Natasha told him, her shoulders also relenting. “And I’m sorry too…I don’t think anyone is at their best right now.”

Steve knew that if anything was for certain, it was that. 

“Perhaps we should wait until Dr. Cho comes back with the brain scan results,” Bruce’s voice was soft as he traded carefully. Already he looked like a kicked puppy.

What did he know?

Before Steve could ask, Rhodey’s voice broke through the room. “It’s a good idea. That way we won’t be trying to send many…”

There were hard stares around the room before Rhodey continued, “no matter what the results are.”

There will only be one. Steve knew it. Wanda was too strong.

What he didn’t like was how Bruce still looked like he couldn’t breathe when they small talked with each other and watched news reports while they waited. 

* * *

When Dr. Cho stood outside Wanda’s room for a few seconds before she came in, Natasha felt her anxiety rising. It was until the woman actually came in with a file folder in her hand when Natasha felt her stomach drop when she saw Dr. Cho’s face.

All eyes were immediately on her and she became more aware that she was a small woman, standing amongst heroes with tired and desperate eyes. That she was a singular, and they were a collective, all relying on her for information that they would not receive. 

She had been there, she had been on the other end and she had no idea it was this hard to be on her end as she was now.

“There is….” Dr. Cho cleared her voice, her eyes going around them and Natasha didn’t know where she found that strength. “I’ll make this news quick but this is not the results that I know you were all hoping for.”

With every word that she spoke, they could feel the bile in their stomachs bubbling. 

“Um…” Dr. Cho gulped, and clutched the file folder to her chest tighter, realizing just out of depth that she was among them. Maybe an actual doctor would know how to handle this better, would know what to say. But they had her, she could do the scans and data, she was the best they had, “…there is no easy way to say this, but Wanda’s brain injury was more significant than we anticipated and were hoping for.”

Steve felt like his throat was getting tighter and tighter, like something was closing it off. Vision and Clint’s hands that were holding Wanda’s tightened, Tony’s hand beginning to tremble slightly. All of their minds were echoing with the same thoughts.

Was it permanent brain damage? Would she have difficulty walking or speaking? Would she be able to see again? Would she have significant personality changes? Would she be able to still be on the team with her injuries? Would she still be okay? Would she—

“Wanda is brain dead.”

There was suddenly no air in the room. 

Even if they tried to breathe they knew that no air would be able to enter their lungs. The air had been knocked out of all of them and the flooring dropped from beneath them.

Steve’s eyes closed as he kept forcing the words out of his brain, unaware of his fingers clutching into a fist.

“We did extensive testing for neurological responses and Wanda failed across the board. We also did multiple brain scans to be sure, but all of the results came back the same,” Dr. Cho’s voice was like fog over the ocean with no land in sight.

“So there’s nothing we can do?” Tony asked her.

“Unf—”

“Of course there is,” Steve replied, almost annoyed, as he opened his eyes again. 

Everyone’s eyes were suddenly on Steve, but the blonde took it almost as a challenge.

“We’ll find a way to help Wanda,” Steve told him. “SHIELD’s medical knowledge and ability is decades beyond what modern, common medicine is. If we ask Fury I’m sure that we’ll be able to figure something out, or he can take us to the person who can.” 

“Steve, I’m not exactly sure that you understand the situation,” Dr. Cho treaded lightly. “Wanda’s brain has no neurological function. There is absolutely no blood flow into her brain. The muscle is, in technical terms—”

“If we went by simple logic there is no way that I would be here,” Steve told her, his voice getting louder and more defensive, whether he heard it or not. “Or Tony or Bruce for that matter! Somehow in the 1940s I defied literally all medical logic by becoming practically immortal. A terrorist somehow managed to save shrapnel from entering Tony’s heart by creating an electromagnetic around it and a damn battery in the middle of the damn desert. Also, still in the middle of the desert, Tony updated all of that technology to create a more convenient arc reactor! Radiation that damn well should have killed Bruce 50 times over, somehow managed to only create a living Jekyll and Hyde experiment! If there is anything that this group proves is that we can defy all medical logic!”

“Steve has a point,” Tony took a step forward, his hand outstretched yet facing upward and flat as he slightly gestured to the blonde, “I don’t have a medical degree but I can look over things with Bruce. I’m sure that we can figure out something that can help regulate the blood to Wanda’s brain.”

“And if they need help I can talk to Fury,” Clint comments in agreement. “We can figure this out. She might be in this hospital bed for a while but there’s got to be a way that we can fix this and bring her back!”

“Clint,” Bruce started to say, going to reach a hand over to gently place on Clint’s shoulder, but the archer shook it off.

“SHIELD has medical means and knowledge beyond anything we can comprehend,” Clint explained. “They’ll have something to help the blood flowing through Wanda’s brain. 

“I don’t think you understand Wanda’s neurological state. There is no possible way that Wanda’s injuries can be healed or fixed,” Dr. Cho tried again but she was quickly cut off again.

“No,” Steve insisted, his voice tight. “There is a chance. There is always a chance.”

“Even if we don’t have the right way to treat it right now I’m sure that we can find a way to do it, especially if we can get SHIELD to back us up in the research and creation,” Tony agreed, looking at Bruce who was still looking at the ground, unable to make eye contact. 

“Not to mention but patients who have been declared brain dead have woken up before!” Clint agreed, his voice tight as he tried to hide the desperation of the words.

Dr. Cho pursed her lips before she let out a long sigh. Without a word, she soon used the television to project an image on the left half of the screen. By the x-ray, see-through like the side image of a head, it looked to be of a brain scan. They could see the person’s teeth, the outline of their skull, and the way their brain seemed to have lines like roots spreading across the soil. 

“This,” Dr. Cho started, keeping her voice calm but level, “is an image of a normal brain scan of the female brain. Those lines represent blood flow in the brain.”

A second image appeared beside the first. It was the image of a head, this one smaller than the first, and almost an over the shoulder look rather than a side profile, but it was still pretty clear. 

They saw the name at the top left corner, but most of them were focused more on the blank, complete clear white of the brain in the second picture.

“_This_,” Dr. Cho continued, this time her voice more gentle, “is an image of Wanda’s brain when we completed the scan.”

The change in the atmosphere of the room was instant. It felt like the air had suddenly been sucked out of the room. That the floor suddenly dropped from beneath them as they stared at the image of the grey blankness of the brain image. The root-like images completely gone. 

Natasha closed her eyes, forcing away the feeling of her eyes getting wetter. She opened her mouth to try and breathe softly, but although she did the motions she wasn’t sure anything actually made it into her lungs. 

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Steve insisted.

Natasha opened her eyes again and stared at him, frowning.

“Steve,” she whispered.

“NO!” Steve’s chair almost flew back with the speed he stood out of it, finger out and pointing accusingly. “We can do this. Wanda is still in there. We can fix this, we can _help_ her!”

He hadn’t even realized that he was already crying.

All of the others could only stare at him though. He recognized the expressions on their faces. The expression of slightly horrified pity. A look that clearly showed that they pitted him and were holding back their thoughts to try and correct what he was saying but were searching for the right words to say it. 

Steve was panting, almost gasping for breath as his own brain tried to process everything, to take new courses of action. 

“Steve,” Sam started carefully but Steve only angrily gestured towards him. A point of anger and something with tired frustration. The blonde almost looked rabid in his anger and desperation, and none of them had realized that they had seen him this upset or so close to the edge between despair and desperate hope. 

“NO!” Steve’s voice echoed along the room and halls of the infirmary. “You do _not_ get to go all Therapist on me, Wilson. I’m not letting this go. I’m right and everyone knows this!”

He was almost panting in anger, body slouched over. He briefly imagined himself like an angry, oversized cartoon character that was breathing out fire from his nose. 

He glanced over everyone again, almost as though he was sizing them up. Natasha was no longer looking at him, she was looking at the ground, her hand over her mouth as she tried to think. Whether it was about Steve or Wanda he wasn’t sure. Maybe it was all of it. Hell he couldn’t blame her. Bruce was staring at him, eyes stark on him yet looking as though they were ready to break as he ran his hand across his mouth a few times. Tony had his eyes closed, face grimaced and jaw tight. Vision and Clint could no longer look at him, they were looking at Wanda, and he hated how all of their faces seemed to be dropping. He wanted to shake them in desperation. They were on his side they were _on his side_

Rhodey and Sam were still looking at him, both with pity and understanding. They had gone through this before. He hated the way their eyes were on him. Like they were right and he was wrong and they felt _sad_ about it. They were sad about the situation they were so sure was permanent, so sad for _him._

“I can’t believe you,” Steve’s words were so thick, so pained, that the others almost flinched. Natasha slowly brought her eyes back up to look at them and he saw the gentle desperation in them as well. To stop this before it went any worse. That he wouldn’t feel his pain anymore. “I can’t believe how easily you are just casting Wanda aside. She was our teammate, our friend, our _family!_ And she never would’ve given up on you like this! She never would’ve lost hope for any of you! How dare you turn your back on her when she needs you the most and you know that she never would’ve given up on any of us if we were in her position!”

Why was everyone blurry? 

He blinked a few times to regain focus his vision, but it made things worse.

The rebounding silence was worse than if they were trying to dismiss his words or comfort him.

Because there were no comforts to offer and they couldn’t deny what he was saying.

It was worse because they were stuck. There was no solution, no helping, no nothing.

Nothing but acceptance.

Steve’s face twisted in pain as he looked at all of them again and he took a shaking breath. Immediately Tony took a step forward to him but Steve flinched away, holding his hands up as a silent caution for him to go no further. 

His eyes trail back to Wanda and his chest tightens so hard that he feels like there is something tightly wrapping around it. As the feeling creeps up his chest and neck he feels like something is trying to suffocate him. 

He sniffles and stares at her face. Still and serene, completely unaware.

“She never would’ve given up on us,” Steve’s voice was hoarse, shaking. “She never gave up…”

He sniffs again as his voice cracks and he takes one last look at Wanda before he leaves the room, slamming the door behind him with a force that briefly worries the others it may break. 

The air in the hospital room was suffocating as the others tried to breathe again. Their breath was hallow, and most of them were realizing how nauseous they felt now that they weren’t focusing on Cap. They were brought back to themselves, and how they still felt like their feet weren’t on solid ground. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that, Helen,” Tony spoke gently, calmly, as though he was trying to bring it back to the atmosphere of the room. 

Dr. Cho immediately looked up and shook her head. She sighed and turned off the monitor so they wouldn’t have to see the picture anymore. She changed it back to the news for them and told them as she stood off at the side with her tablet, “You don’t need to say sorry. I wouldn’t expect anyone to take this news well.” And, she had anticipated all of their reactions to be far worse than what transpired.

“Still,” Tony insisted, “take a few hours just to yourself. Take the rest of the day if you want to. It’s been…one fucking hell of a day.”

The doctor nodded, gathering the papers and chart that she came in with. She tells him, “thank you, but…” She turns to look at all of them. She purses her lips for a moment, barely able to meet their eyes. Most were wide with shock or were drowning in pain, lost and barely floating. Devastated. 

“I do have a suggestion,” she went on gently. She looks to all of them again, Clint’s eyes on her and becoming red and strained in pain and she gulps. “It should be done soon. I know it’s….fresh,” She feels herself almost catch her breath on the word, “but…speaking from experience.” Her own voice tightens slightly. “It’s not something you want to prolong. It only lingers the pain instead of finding peace…for everyone involved. My suggestion would be to do it tonight.”

There was a slight stiffening around the room as everyone considered her words. Helen left with one last forgiving look, giving them time for themselves and to think about her words. Natasha let out a long breath of air before taking in another deep breath as she closed her eyes. Rhodey was biting his lip, his arms still folded. He faintly felt out of place, but the look in Tony’s eyes told him not to go. And when he stared at Wanda, a part of him still made his chest ache. Sam was still looking out the door, as though debating about following Steve, but Rhodey noticed the way his fingers forced themselves against his skin, every once in a while moving back a bit before doing it again. Bruce was looking down, slouched and almost looking smaller in the one corner of the room. Clint had his fist against his mouth, eyes distracted in devastation as he looked down. Somehow his face was like rock, yet it was falling all at the same time. 

Finally, Bruce looked around them all again.

“I know that we don’t want to think about it but…” he started.

“We know,” Tony answered. His voice was not as full as Bruce’s.

Despite the silence between them, there was still the unanimous agreement. And Rhodey realized that was why everyone looked more devastated than before. 

“Does she have any family?” Sam asked, looking around at them. “Any other people who should be included in this decision…who should say their goodbyes?”

Natasha shook her head and opened her eyes again.

“Wanda told me that her father left them when she was pretty young and never contacted them again. She doesn’t even know his name and barely remembers him. If he’s still alive, or has another family, she has never met them. And her mother died when she was younger as well,” Natasha makes sure not to look at Tony even though Tony’s gaze casts down. “And Pietro…” Natasha gulps and Sam catches Clint close his eyes as though to push a memory from his mind. 

“She just had us,” Vision replied, his voice soft. 

There was a another cloud that came over the group as they became lost in thought. Was the room always this cold?

“Before we ask Dr. Cho to continue tonight, we need to make sure Steve is on board,” Natasha commented. 

“We need to give him time though,” Sam agreed. “Let him come to terms with one idea before we move on to the next. He’ll be taking this hard.” 

Rhodey looked at Sam through the corner of his eye. He knew too. Survivors guilt could be one hell of a demon. 

Clint finally cleared his throat, as though hoping to clear whatever was blocking his way to breathe. From the sound of his voice, Rhodey wasn’t sure if he got it.

“I need some air,” he muttered softly. 

The archer looked down at Wanda though, something shining and almost scared in his eyes.

“I’ll stay with her,” Vision replied to him with a promise. Clint looked over at him and nodded graciously. He let out one more sigh, as though he was struggling with something before he finally let go of Wanda’s hand and left the room without another word.

* * *

“You’ve been out here for a while,” Natasha comments as she walks over and settles beside him.

Natasha looked over at Clint as he stood against the railing of the balcony. He stared out at the city below and around them. There was still smoke flying out from bomb destroyed buildings. The heavy sound of what seemed like hundreds of sirens echoed in the air like an annoying buzz. Helicopters were also flying through the air to take video of damage and to monitor the city. The air was hot and muggy, like it settled a sticky cloud around you. How could he stand to stay out here?

She moves to lean against the railing as well. She looks out at the city. Most of the cars on the streets were deadlocked, but a few roads were moving slightly. It’d take forever to get this city back to what it was.

“I don’t know how you can do so well in this humidity,” Natasha comments, still looking out on the city. It hadn’t taken her long to find him after she gave him a little bit to think. She thought he would’ve come back to the room by now and was wondering how long he stood out here in the heat and light sun.

In the corner of her eye, she saw Clint shrug. 

“Not all of us were born in the vast cold wasteland of Russia and have cold-blooded tendencies running through our veins,” Clint commented casually. Natasha almost snorted.

There was a few minutes of silence between them as they looked out at the city, under the cloudy skies and sun rays. Her hair blew a little in the wind and a few strands tickled her cheeks. 

“Laura will be here by tonight,” Natasha finally broke the silence.

There was a second long pause for the words to reach Clint’s thoughts before he suddenly whirled and turned around to look at her. His eyes were wide, his face a mix between shock and anger.

“What are you talking about, Nat?! It’s not safe for her to be here!” Clint seemed to almost scream through clenched teeth. “We don’t know for certain if all of the bombs have been found, or if there won’t be another attack on the city! The house is the safest spot for her! How the hell would she get in anyway. The entire city is on lock down!”

“SHIELD is picking her up and will get her into the city,” Natasha explained calmly, not at all changed by his tone or the way his eyes seemed to flare with fear and a small mix of anger. “She’ll be in the safest hands while she is here. And when she is here, she’ll be with me and the others, and we both know that there is no way that I would allow her to get hurt.”

She keeps their eye contact, watching how the emotions in his eyes. Fear, hope, desperation, acceptance.

He gulps and Natasha moves her arm out to touch his, gently squeezing it. 

“Thank you,” Clint admits. 

“I thought that it would help,” Natasha replied, her voice still soft and gentle.

Clint stares at her for a few moments before he nods a few times, looking down at his hands.

Natasha moved gently, cocking her head slightly to get a better angle to look at him.

“Are you going to be okay?” Natasha asked, her voice sympathetically gentle. “That was…not the positive news we were hoping for.”

Her pursed his lips for a moment before he turns to lean against the railing again. Understanding, she lets her arm drop and lets him look out at the city. She does the same. 

“I still remember when we were fighting in Sokovia and I practically threw both of us through a window into an abandoned house in the middle of the war zone,” Clint whispers. She tries to take a quick glance over. It would’ve been obvious to anyone besides Clint, but before he turns his head away slightly she catches the way his eyes were large and glinting. She looks out over the city’s horizon again. 

“She was trembling, on the brink between a panic attack and scared out of her mind, probably battling oncoming memories of PTSD” Clint whispered. He takes a moment to take a breath. “She hated herself and the way that her voice was so soft as she spoke…I would’ve thought she was a kid, no older than ten. God, it reminded me of Lila…”

He gulped again and closes his eyes for a moment.

“It made me realize how much of a kid she and Pietro were,” he replies, opening his eyes again. He chuckles before whispering, “I don’t think I’ve ever thought of a faster and more fumbled inspirational speech in my life. I realized I had seconds to keep her from going into a panic attack and bring her back. I knew she had it in her. I knew it. I just had to make sure she didn’t loose herself in her own guilt and PTSD.”

The silence fell between them briefly. Another gust of wind came over them and a few more strands of hair stuck to her face. She uses a careful hand to move them back again, eyes searching out at the city line.

“You were always a great judge of character,” Natasha told him gently. “You see the greatness and potential in people the moment that you meet them. You see what people don’t even see in themselves.”

Clint shakes his head lightly, disbelievingly.

“You saw it in them,” Natasha insisted before she turned to look at him. “You saw it in me.” 

Clint finally looks over at her and meets her gaze. She sees the grimace and shine of wetness in his own eyes before he turns away again. 

“Yeah, and what happened to them? Both of them end up dying to make sure that kids could go home alive to their parents instead of in body bags or, what could have been the case, buried in stone forever as they carted the clumps of stone and metal off in their piles to some sort of drop off or dump,” Clint whispered harshly. Natasha notes how his fists begin to come together, tense before coming apart slightly only to tense again. She places her hand lightly on his fist and she feels the light slack come through his arm and fingers again, but this time it stayed.

“Had the Big Guy not been there, it might’ve been her too,” Clint whispered. “We might have never been able to get her…and it’s not like getting her out of there would’ve made that much of a difference anyway.”

She squeezes her hand over his fist gently.

“The difference is that she’s here and not under rocks,” Natasha assured him gently.

Clint stares out in front of him again and Natasha watches him wearily. It takes a few minutes before he finally shakes his head, letting out a hollow, dead chuckle.

“She’s fucking dead, Nat.” Clint growled, “she was in trouble and _I wasn’t there_.”

“Is there anything you could’ve done that Steve didn’t?” Natasha asked. 

“I don’t know,” Clint answered and his voice went into something deeper than she had ever heard before. “But Pietro died saving me and that kid. He died for me. I owed it to him to protect her and keep her safe, Nat. I _owed_ him at least that.”

Clint was always good at masking and holding his emotions, or at least forming them so that they outwardly appeared as something different. But Natasha had known him for too long, and had been too close to him not to hear his voice almost crack near the end.

Clint sniffs, his only tell he couldn’t control before it came out and he shakes his head.

“Lousy goddamn job I did,” he whispers, his arms and hands beginning to tremble ever so slightly. 

Natasha stares at him, watching his chest as he takes his breath, letting him breathe even as shaky as it was. The more he breathed, the less he began to shake until it was almost like a small vibration. She knew he was close to her, how they had done a few things together or with a small group of others to help her out of her box and get her more comfortable with the others. Natasha had gone along with them sometimes too. She wouldn’t say he was a mentor to Wanda, but she felt safe and confided in Clint first, and there was something about that Natasha shared with Wanda. There is a closeness and power to that connection that can’t be explained in words. 

She waits till his breath is more even before she helps him to come back out of his thoughts.

“You can help her now,” Natasha told him gently, “by letting her find her peace.”

Clint sighed and nodded, shoulders slacking a little.

“I know what I said before, with Cap, but after I saw the brain scan…” he blinked rapidly and almost sniffed. Natasha knew his memory produced the same image, of how white and empty Wanda’s brain scan had been.

“I know there is no coming back from that,” Clint confessed and when he cast his head down Natasha was just barely able to see the shine from his eyes, much more defined than when they first were. 

When he brings his head back up he looks up at the sky and lets out another long sigh, almost groaning through it. His hands pat the railing as he brings his head back down.

“I’ll be okay, Nat,” he promises her, turning to look over at her. “I need a bit more time for this all to wrap around my head, and it’s gonna hurt as all hell, but I got it. By tonight the whole thing would settle in me.”

The blonde leans back again and moves his hands to wipe at his eyes slightly, tears that she knew only her and Laura had ever seen. The small smile he gives her makes her own shoulders drop with relief, feeling a calm in her. 

He glances over at her and shakes his head, using the base of his palm to wipe his eyes before he whispers sniffing slightly to regain composure, “and Jesus Christ I swear, Nat, if you ever die to save someone else, I’m going to kill you. I’m not sure I’ll be able to take this again.”

Natasha gave him a small smile, moving her hand to rub at his shoulder and tells him in a gentle teasing tone, “you know me, I’m immortal.”

Clint snorts slightly, rubbing away the last of his tears.

“Yeah, I do,” he agreed, laughing slightly, his face brightening already with the joke. Already, Natasha was starting to feel better too. 

“Besides, I spend most of my time picking up after you all and babysitting you, putting the finer details on all of your actions and plans,” Natasha told him.

“Yeah right,” Clint almost scoffs, shaking his head. His shoulders shaking lightly as the silent laughter rocks his body. 

Clint lets out a long sigh and looks back to Natasha’s relieved smile. He pauses for a moment before he looks back at the balcony door as the shadow of a helicopter moves over them.

“I think I’ll go back down,” Clint tells her, talking louder over the sound of the helicopter. “I’ll grab my laptop first though. I have some things I want to look at again.”

She raised her eyebrow, the shadow still cast over them, “when did you have time to grab that?”

“I always keep it at easy access so I can bring it with me,” he explains. “I didn’t know how long I would be here, so I brought it in case I wanted to video chat with Laura and the kids.”

Natasha nods in understanding.

Clint’s eyes trailed up and he said, “I think we better get in before the news feed gets any more video of us. We don’t need more stories flying around.”

Natasha nods, smirking slightly but doesn’t look at up.

“Good plan,” she agrees and follows Clint as he already begins to walk back into the Tower. 

The instant they step inside Natasha is relived by the lack of buzz and rapidly cutting air from the helicopter outside. She looks around as her eyes readjust to the lower light in the common room area and is surprised to find another body in the kitchenette area. 

“Bruce?” Natasha asked, slightly confused. He hadn’t been there when she first went out.

The scientist looked over his shoulder at him as he carried something towards the sink. The cupboard under the sink was also open, where the garbage was. Natasha furrowed her eyebrows but before she could ask—

“Hey,” Bruce greeted lightly. “Sorry, I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.”

Clint shook his head, giving the man a small smile. His eyes weren’t red, there would be no suggesting that Clint had been crying the few tears that he did. And if Bruce did happen to see Clint wiping his eyes, Natasha knew that Bruce would never say a word about it. 

“No,” Clint replied, still walking, likely to wherever he last placed his bag that he apparently brought with him. “Just had some breathing time and talking. You doing good?”

Bruce nods, a small tug at his lips to give him a smile. 

“Yeah, I’m doing well,” Bruce answered lightly. “I stayed down there for most of it, watching the news and getting more information with Sam and Vision. Rhodey left a little while before me, he’s going to check on Tony.”

“Has anyone talked to Steve?” Natasha asked.

Bruce shook his head. “Sam said it would be best to give him a bit of time.”

The redhead nodded, but pursed her lips. She trusted Sam though. If he could be a counsellor to vets then he knew how to best work with Steve.

“She’s still doing well though. Vision and Sam are with her,” Bruce told Clint.

The archer nodded. “Thanks, I’m heading down there.”

“I’ll be back soon too. Just going to finish up around here,” Bruce replied. 

When Bruce finally began to scrap the plate in his hand, she raised her eyebrows.

“You’re cleaning?” Natasha asked. Clint was already walking out the door, unbothered and with something else on his mind.

Bruce looked over his shoulder at her again, continuing to scrape the plate until he stopped, likely because it was clean.

“It’s something to do, something I can do,” Bruce explained, his voice soft. But Natasha understood. It was something he could do. Something he could do where he could see the results that he could anticipate. He would clean, and he would get a clean area. It was something he could control. 

“That makes sense,” Natasha agreed.

Bruce shrugged and Natasha took a quick glimpse around the room and she realized. 

Breakfast.

They had been in the middle of their breakfast when FRIDAY declared the Code Orange. And by the time FRIDAY changed the warning into a Code Black and they had helped evacuate the building all of the other bombs in the city had gone off and everyone was already dispensing themselves across the city.

She had forgotten that they were in the middle of eating. Sam had stayed the night, he apparently had some sort of game or movie night with Steve. Sam had made a joke about Tony’s waffles. She was leaning against the counter. 

She looked over at the table and saw that the plates were already gone from where they had been placed this morning. Natasha’s gaze turned to the counter above the dishwasher where Bruce had piled the dirty plates and utensils. He already had all their cups from this morning there as well, empty with contents likely flowing down the sink drain.

“We never got to finish eating pancakes,” Natasha sighed. 

Bruce shrugged, cleaning off the last plate. He shuts the door to the cupboard with the trash can with one hand before using the other to place the held plate onto the pile with the others. 

“Doesn’t really matter now, does it?” Bruce asked. 

Natasha stared at him for a moment, holding eye contact with him.

“I guess not,” she admits. 

Bruce nods slightly before he opens the dishwasher door. As he began to place the plates in the dishwasher, Natasha stared at the pile. Which one had been Wanda’s plate? How much did she eat this morning? Did she eat at all? Did Wanda taste the sweetness of the blueberry pancakes that morning, ready to eat another forkful? Did she realize that would be her last meal?

Natasha’s gaze then trailed to the glasses and mugs beside the plates that Bruce was moving. Taking a step forward, her fingertips brushed against a navy blue mug. It was plain, just navy blue. An ordinary mug. 

Picking it up, Natasha looked it over, frowning.

“This was the mug Wanda used this morning,” Natasha commented to Bruce.

The man looked back over at her and his shoulders sagged slightly in realization too. He sighed, sorrow filled features filling his face.

“Yeah,” Bruce agreed. Natasha wasn’t sure if he also remembered exactly the mug Wanda used or if Bruce was just taking her word for it, but both of them knew that wasn’t the point. His thoughts went to something else and she watched as his head moved to look over at the Tassimo brewer. “She was already down here when I came down. Her insomnia was acting out again I guess. She was at the table drinking something from that…” 

He purses his lips and looked down again. “We had just got a whole new box of coffee packs for her…kinda strange how one thing stops but everything connected to it is still there and keeps going.”

Natasha nods. Unfortunately, she knew that feeling too. 

She stares at the mug for a few seconds longer before her gaze turns to the spot that Wanda was sitting at. There had been quite a few times where she would wake up in the morning, going to get a tea to start her day before the sun was even up and Wanda was at the kitchen table, a pile of coffee pods beside the Tassimo to show how many mug fulls she had consumed over the hours after everyone else went to bed. She would have bags under her eyes, and she looked tired but not upset. It was almost like something in her eyes showed content.

They had brought up that they could get her drugs to help her sleep. What they thought had been acute insomnia, brought on by Ultron and the attacks and PTSD, they soon realized became mild and chronic. Wanda had declined any type of medication quickly, and also denied Sam and Natasha’s suggestion of getting teas that were meant to relax the body and mind so that she could become more drowsy at night. Natasha was the only one who knew that sometimes Wanda talked to Sam about the insomnia, and likely about other things. Clint maybe also knew, as Wanda and Clint shared information together.

Wanda was quiet about her insomnia. It didn’t happen every night, or if it did Wanda didn’t always come down to the common area. There were a few times when Natasha came down for her tea that Wanda decided to go back up to her room to try and rest. There were other times where Natasha found Wanda had fallen asleep on one of the couches and Natasha would text all of the members to inform them to be as quiet as possible if they came to the common area so that Wanda could still sleep. 

The team quickly became sympathetic to Wanda’s rampant insomnia, likely because most of them had experienced acute insomnia at some point themselves.

Over the years Natasha found Wanda in the common area early less and less, and she was napping less and less during the day too. She wondered if it was finally starting to tame. 

What she never understood though was why Wanda would drink something with caffeine when she couldn’t sleep. Natasha knew that Wanda knew it would keep her up longer, but still Wanda could drink up to one or two cups of coffee each hour of the night. Natasha decided it was likely a comfort thing, as odd as it was.

It was also odd to her how Wanda would sometimes just sit in silence all night. Sometimes the radio would be on if she stayed in the common room, other times Wanda was just sitting in silence, drinking her coffee.

Staring back at the coffee mug, another memory faintly came into Natasha’s mind. One night she couldn’t get to sleep after she came back from a mission for SHIELD in Austria only a couple of weeks after Wanda joined the Avengers. At two in the morning Natasha decided to get herself a cup of tea and when she came to the common room she found faint clouds of scarlett all along the floor. It stretched out like fog, and smelled sweet like candy.

She remembered how angry she had been, how she confronted Wanda about it later after she scared Wanda to go back up to her room. The brunette looked like a deer in headlights. And after a few minutes, the fog dissipated. Wanda just apologized, and after a while Natasha let it go only because when she asked her teammates privately if they had any nightmares in the night they said no. They had reported that their dreams had been peaceful.

Natasha suddenly felt like her knees might buckle beneath her. She couldn’t feel her legs. She could feel nothing below the large rock that dropped hard in the pit of her stomach. 

“I’m such an idiot,” she whispered, her stomach still twisting. 

“What?” Bruce asked, immediately looking up at her, brows furrowed. “Nat, what are you talking about?”

How could she not see it? How had she not pieced it together? It was all in front of her. Wanda staying up all night, drinking coffee, especially after hard missions or when a team member was more down than usual. Including her. They chalked it all up to insomnia.

How could she be so stupid?

“Nat?” Bruce asked again. “Nat, you’re really pale. Are you okay?”

Natasha was still frozen in the spot for a few more seconds. _How_ had she not seen it before?

“Hey, Nat, you’re really starting to scare me now,” Bruce told her, reaching out a hand to her.

Once his hand rests on her arm, her gaze finally moves from the cup to him. Forcing a small smile on her fast, immediately masking her thoughts and she knows from his face that she has to do some damage control.

“I’m fine,” she assures him. “I just realized something. I’m okay though.”

Natasha places the mug in the top rack of the dishwasher and tells him, forcing them to move on from the conversation they were having before, “I should be helping you with those.”

Bruce looks at her as she begins to place another cup onto the rack and decides to let it go for now. He could ask about it later, but he had a feeling that it was not something she wanted to discuss. 

As he began to place another mug into the dishwasher as well, he tells her, looking down at his hands to see what he was doing, “I was thinking about also wiping down the table and counters, doing the pots and pans by hand.”

Natasha nods, “that sounds like a good idea.”

* * *

Tony didn’t look up from his Stark Pad as he sat at his roughed up, cluttered desk at the farthest corner of his lab when he heard the elevator doors open.

“FRIDAY I told you that I was not to be disturbed,” Tony commented to the AI, still looking over the Stark Pad. 

“I put in the override code,” Rhodey called from the doorway as he began to walk over.

Tony sighed and finally looked up. He watched as Rhodey walked towards him, hands in his coat pockets as he walked. Tony still sat in the chair, one leg crossed over the other to prop up his tablet.

“You’ve been up here for a while,” Rhodey commented. “Wanted to make sure you weren’t shutting yourself out.”

“I’m just starting to get things in order for what I’m going to have to do for the clean-up and what I’ll be tasking FRIDAY to do, figuring out where the cheques are all going, all those fun things. I started a relief fund and already money is pouring in from across the world,” Tony answered, setting his tablet down completely. “I also wanted to make sure all employees got home safely.”

Rhodey nodded. 

“Well, take a break. You’ve been up here for a little while,” Rhodey commented.

Tony sighed and looked at him again and saw his expression.

“Alright,” Tony set the tablet on the desk alongside the papers and books and whatever else he stored there. He ran a hand over his face and realized the instant that he set the Stark Pad down that he was desperate to have it again because his mind immediately went to something else. 

“How is Wanda?” Tony asked.

“No change,” Rhodey answered, and it wasn’t like Tony expected any other answer. He knew that there wouldn’t be. 

Tony nodded and sighed before he got off the chair, feeling the muscles in his legs stretch. Another thought came to his mind and he immediately took it on the forefront, before anything else.

“Has Sam tried to talk to Steve yet?” Tony asked. 

“No, if he doesn’t come back down in an hour though he said that he would try to find him so that they can talk about tonight,” Rhodey answered.

Right. Tonight.

Tony nodded and moved to wipe his hand down his mouth. 

Rhodey moved to twist himself so that he could look at Tony face to face still.

“Hey, you okay?” Rhodey asked him.

“Yeah,” the billionaire answered, forcing himself to look Rhodey in the eyes. 

Rhodey stared at him for a seconds before he finally nodded. He looked like he briefly debated something, and Tony wondered exactly what thing about him that Rhodey was debating.

“Alright, I just wanted to check on you,” Rhodey told him, “but can I give you some advice….and can you actually take it this time?”

Tony shrugged, but the small smile tugged at his lips.

“There is this girl in Chicago on your contact list that you should call,” Rhodey told him, a small smile on his face as well before he turned to walk away.

Tony raised an eyebrow at the quick interaction, but at the same time he was fully aware that he and Rhodey had weirder and shorter interactions before since they first met at MIT. 

He was also fully aware of how empty the room felt once his friend left. He opened his mouth to call Rhodey back, but he could not find his voice and that sent a sting through his veins. Without any distractions to escape from his thoughts, he was left for them to suffocate him. 

He clenched his jaw but found his hands were already moving towards his phone. 

He had the creeping sensation that he felt something similar to this when his parents died. The feeling of pure helplessness through the feeling of something else carving out a whole in his chest. The dread in him felt like toxic sludge was coursing along his bones. There was a feeling that he was teetering along the edge, but also falling. He couldn’t be sure though, after all the drinking there were a lot of memories from the first few years after their death his memory for those times were not perfect.

He cleared his throat, forcing himself to try and breathe. 

Alone.

Gone.

He couldn’t remember the distinct emotions that he was feeling, but the thought of what they could be, the mirrored resemblance of what he was in now, made his chest ache and his throat dry.

Tony shut his eyes for a moment, his brows furrowed slightly, breathing through his nose as his mind tried to think over what his hands were already doing. When he opens his eyes again he found that he had already unlocked his phone. It was still on the last message that he had sent to Pepper only a few hours ago. His gaze followed the last thing that he sent to her that morning, likely her profile was up since she called him.

_I know that you’re likely still sleeping, but I know you’ll kill it at the meeting today. You always do. Just to make sure to get breakfast first. _

He gulped. Everything this morning was different. He had woken up and dressed himself to seem more presentable before he walked in on Bruce making the team pancakes of all the bloody things. One normal fucking image of friendly domesticity. He made himself waffles, joked with the team, not expecting anything different than having a few normal hours before going to the lab then going to meetings.

This was not the type of day he thought he was going to have. 

This was not the day where he woke up and went into the kitchen and realized that was the last time he would see his one teammate, one of his friends, smile. 

_I know what I said earlier, but I need you to come back tonight._

He had sent the text before his brain could even register what he had just done. He blinked a few seconds, trying to figure out if he actually _did_ just text her, or if somehow the message formed and sent itself, or if perhaps he was imagining the message on his screen. 

He briefly wondered if he should send another text, tell her to forget it and ignore the message. He had gotten the first word down before his phone instantly began vibrating and Pepper’s face was the only thing he could see on his phone screen. Bless her, he thought briefly.

He almost didn’t pick it up. He stared at the image, for a few seconds, forcing his fingers to not answer it and to just answer let it go to voicemail. To message her back and tell her that he—

“Are you okay?” Pepper immediately asked before he could even greet her as he placed the phone to his ear, “What’s going on?”

“I’m fine,” he told her, not entirely sure if it was the truth. He pursed his lips and tried to gulp, feeling himself shift his weight between his legs before he caught himself and forced himself to stand up straight. He clarified, “I’m not hurt, that didn’t change.”

“Okay,” Pepper treaded carefully, though he could hear the relief in her voice. “What happened then? I’m trying to watch as much as I can from the news but a lot of it still seems like rumours or jumbled facts that they still need to place in order.”

Tony closed his eyes, biting his lip as he thought about how to explain it. 

He shouldn’t have texted her.

“Tony?” Pepper asked gently after a few seconds of silence, though he could hear the fear creeping back in her voice again.

Tony forced himself not to sniff when he took another breath.

“Wanda,” his throat tightened and he gulped to try and get the feeling of something clenching around his throat to go away. He told her this morning that everything was fine. He told her even after she’d seen the news reports and footage that everyone, including Wanda as she specifically asked, was going to be okay. It was a lie. He answered back in a small tone, his voice still tight and weak, “Wanda’s brain dead.”

There was a pause at the other end of the line and Tony felt like he couldn’t breathe. It was the first time he actually….He closes his eyes, slight panic wracking his brain. He never should’ve called. He was troubling Pepper with things she didn’t need to be involved in.

“FRIDAY cancel all other meetings that I have, and tell the pilot get things started for a flight back to New York. And tell him to check if we need to get off at either Westchester or Newark Liberty Airport. I doubt any airports will be open in the actual city. It may still be on lock-down,” he caught Pepper’s conversation on the other side. 

“Pepper, you don’t need to come,” Tony tried to insist, thinking them all out. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Tony,” Pepper told him both diligently to get his attention, yet gentle so that it wouldn’t hurt. “I’m coming home.”

The billionaire was silent, trying to breathe evenly. He tried to force his mind to think of more excuses, to think of words that could be used to persuade her to stay in Chicago, but he couldn’t bring them to his lips. They only floated in his mind and then fell like a rock to his stomach. He couldn’t force them out.

He took in a deep, shaking breath before he ran a hand down his face and forced himself to look around, to force himself to come back to reality. “Umm,” he closed his eyes again, the sinking feeling in his stomach getting deeper and deeper. He felt like his mouth had never been drier. He hadn’t felt his heavy yet hallow since he found out that his parents were dead. 

“They….” He started before he cleared his throat again. “It’ll likely be tonight…we don’t want to wait too long.”

“Understandable,” Pepper spoke back. He could hear shuffling on the other end. Was she already packing up her bag as she talked to him. “Once they get the jet ready, it should only be a few hours back to around New York. I should be there late afternoon.”

Tony nods, guilty for feeling like he made her come back, but also relieved to know that she would be back here soon.

After more shuffling on the other end, there was a small pause before Pepper asked, as though taking a small break from her packing.

“How are you feeling about all of this?” Pepper asked gently, but he understood the message between the lines and the underlying caution in her tone.

“I haven’t had a drink,” Tony promised her, moving to lean against the hallway wall. He hadn’t even had an inkling for one. He learned from heavy experience the years after his parents died, even up to only a few years ago, how bad of an idea that always was. 

There was a sigh on the other side of the line.

“Good, good,” Pepper commented before she gently rushed to explain. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Tony, but…I know that this is probably bringing back a lot of memories.”

Tony nodded, because no way in hell could he deny that.

“I promise, Pep,” he tells her. “Not a drop. And Rhodey is still in the Tower too.” He was sure that his friend was keeping an eye on that too. Tony knew there was nothing in the Tower though, even if he did have a desire.

After the few times he thought he could handle a drink, a singular drink, now and then to ‘relax’, and still reacted to it in much the same way, he realized that alcohol was one of the things he shouldn’t have in his life. He knew that whenever there was something deeper going on that Rhodey would keep an eye on him. One time he caught Rhodey raiding his kitchen just to make sure nothing was hiding after Ultron happened. He didn’t take offence to it, maybe the Tony he was years before would, but not the Tony who realized how much Rhodey and Pepper cared. And not the Tony who could clearly see in hindsight about how bad an idea using alcohol as a crutch was. He wasn’t going to resort back to old, horrible habits. He refused to. He wouldn’t do that to his team, to Pepper, to Wanda,

Or to himself, not again.

Pepper let out another sigh before telling him, “it’s not that I don’t trust you—”

“I understand, don’t worry,” Tony promised her. “My track record proves that it’s wise to double check.”

He almost imagined her shaking her head. She is silent on the other line again for a few moments. Somehow, he knew the other thing she would bring up.

“I know that we won’t have time today, but I think you should make an appointment with Dr. Stahl,” she treaded gently.

Tony pursed his lips before he sighed.

“Tony, you and I both know how quickly you can spin out of control,” her voice is soft and gentle.

“I know,” Tony agrees after a moment, but both of them already knew that Pepper was texting the therapist on her other phone to schedule an appointment for him before she even asked him the question.

“Truthfully, I’m a little more worried about Steve,” Tony admits.

Pepper seems to think for a moment before she replies, “he was the one who was in the hospital, wasn’t he, right? That’s what all the news reports are saying.”

“Yeah,” Tony answered, gulping and trying to take another short breath of air but found his throat locked again. “Pep…she threw him across the hallway to the entrance to make sure he and the kids got out.”

There was an even longer pause on the other end of the line before Pepper answered back, her voice softer, “That’s….Tony I’m so sorry.”

Tony closed his eyes, squeezing them tightly for a moment before blinking rapidly to control the wetness in his eyes. He made a quick ‘sniff’ sound as he inhaled, almost painfully, before he answered, “I think he’ll be okay, but he took the news pretty hard.”

“I can imagine,” Pepper took his short and brief off-him moment to lightly indulge him before she circled back, “but are you okay?”

Tony shrugged, composing a constructed, yet honest answer, “it’s not the news I was hoping to hear.”

He could imagine from the shuffling on the phone that Pepper had also nodded. 

“I’ll be okay,” he promised. “And if I need to, I’ll talk to Rhodey, but really Pep, I just…”

_I just want you._

“I’ll be there as soon as I can, and I should definitely be there before tonight,” she promised him in understanding. “It’ll take me a few hours to fly there and a bit to try and get into the actual city, but I’ll be there, Tony. I promise.”

Tony nods, letting out a long sigh, shoulders dropping from their guilt and tension.

“Thanks, Pep,” Tony tells her graciously, “stay safe, please.”

“I’ll be there soon,” Pepper promises.

“And, Pep,” Tony whispers, eyes shutting again, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Tony,” Pepper’s tone is gentle and comforting, wrapping around him like soft caramel. 

Tony hung up, letting her go so that she could get ready to come back. He felt lighter, not as nervous or sick.

Pepper was coming, Rhodey was here, the rest of his teammates were in the Tower. 

It wasn’t going to be okay, but he felt a lot better than what he had been for hours. 

Looking at the clock on his phone, he made a mental count down in his head. Depending on how long it would take Pepper to get into a city, even with special clearance, that was on lock-down, it would likely take her three hours. He wanted to check up on his teammates. And, despite what Sam said earlier, the first person he was going to see was Steve. He spent more than enough time alone immediately after it happened and after his blow up if he really hadn’t been back down to see Wanda in a few hours.

Placing his phone in his pocket, Tony briefly wondered where the blonde super soldier would be. He was already walking towards the elevator with an idea in mind. 

“FRIDAY, take me to the gym floor,” Tony spoke, watching the doors shut.

“Yes, Boss,” the AI replied and he immediately felt the elevator moving.

If Steve had been in the gym after it happened, he might’ve found his way back there to let out more of his frustration and anger. And, honestly, perhaps it wasn’t the worse idea. Tony knew the feeling of needing to let out pent in anger well and, as violent-minded as it could be, sometimes the best way to get rid of it was to punch something over and over again until you were tired, letting your mind wandered as you kept giving out energy steadily, the good feeling of something aching in your knuckles with each punch.

However, he also knew that shouldn’t last too long, and especially not being alone for a long time afterwards to still be lost in thoughts.

When the door opened again, Tony’s eyes were diligent for an angry, frustrated, likely panting Captain America.

“Steve?” he opens the gym door, looking around. 

He saw the empty room, nothing different except for the fact that one of the punching bags that hung from the ceiling, the one that he installed with the greatest strength he could place upon the roof without destroying it, on the ground, a good dent and hole against the wall.

“Huh,” Tony commented to himself, shutting the door again before turning around. Alright Capsicle where are you?

“FRIDAY, locate Steve Rogers,” Tony commented. 

There was a brief second long pause before the AI reported from above him, “Steve Rogers is in the common room of his floor, Boss. Should I send him a message?”

“No,” Tony replied quickly, already beginning to walk to the elevator again. “I’ll go up and visit him. Where are all the others?” 

There was a second long pause here too before FRIDAY answered him, “Bruce and Natasha are leaving the common area floor and are walking back to the hospital wing. Clint, Sam, and Rhodey are in the hospital wing already.”

Tony nodded, pressing the button to Steve’s floor before looking up as the elevator doors shut. He wondered briefly what he would say to Steve, what he could possibly say to make any of this better.

But he knew there wasn’t anything to say. 

Nothing could make this better. 

He quickly tried to think of a little plan of what he could say, some type of outline that he thought he could try for Steve, but he knew that his plans were never followed. Something always came up, something always went wrong. If anything today was evident of—

The high pitched ding of the elevator almost made him jump. Looking up at the number above the elevator doors he knew he had arrived at Steve’s door even before the doors shuffled open. 

Staring into the floor’s common room, he recognizes the soft colours he had when he designed the floor for Steve. The soft greys and blues complemented the gentle but deep browns of the floor and much of the furniture, slightly used to make it comfortably worn-in, as well as a few bookcases and more slightly vintage tables and entertainment unit. The decor Steve had put up was of his own, though Tony had pointed him in the direction of an antique shop and flea market that had some more vintage posters. He remembered Steve coming home from a day off with various posters and framed images of old motorcycles and pictures of early Brooklyn, and he saw them on the walls now. And where Steve got the old, brown and gold jukebox Tony didn’t know but he made a note to ask later. 

He didn’t see where Steve was until he stepped further into the common area and living room and saw Steve sitting on the floor in front of the large bay windows on the far side of the living room, closer to the kitchen that would be around the corner. His back was to Tony, sitting almost cross legged as he stared out the window to the city around them that is in much more distress, despair, and destruction than it was when they woke up this morning. Smoke still filled the skyline, you could still see and hear some of the sirens when you opened the windows. But by how Steve was looking more up and straight rather than down, Tony knew that the blonde was looking out at the water instead.

Walking silently, Tony stopped until he was beside Steve. He looked out at the skyline as well for a few seconds, taking it all in before he asked, not looking down, “can I sit?”

Steve was silent for a few seconds as well before he answers, his voice low in almost a whisper as he barely shrugs, “sure.”

Tony nods once before moving to sit on the hardwood floor beside him. 

“You’re not the easiest person to find,” Tony remarked.

“I wasn’t exactly hiding,” Steve replied, clearing his voice a bit and sitting up straighter. Tony recognized the motions. The feeling of sinking in on yourself and you suddenly remembered that you should act more human rather than an emotion, that your throat was dry because you hadn’t spoken in so long. 

“Well I figured that you might be in the gym again,” Tony commented as he took a seat beside the super soldier, “until I saw the punching bag that made a dent in my wall and thought it was probably best you weren’t in there.”

“Crap,” Steve sighed as he ran a hand down his face. “I meant to tell you about that.”

“Language, Rogers,” Tony tried to make his voice more upbeat, but even it was lost in the sadness of the atmosphere. Steve shook his head, but Tony saw the slightest smile tug at his lips before they pulled back. Like there was a moment, a second where he forgot about what happened, and then it came back and drained out everything else again. Tony continued, filling the silence, “It’s alright. I get it. At least it was a punching bag and not a wall. I don’t know if you would even feel it with your strength, but that would hurt.”

Steve raised an eyebrow, turning over to look at him. Tony kept looking in front of him, eyes not turning deliberately, purposely avoiding his gaze. 

“A few days after my parents died,” Tony explained, saying nothing more and Steve decided to let it go. He understood. 

There were a couple of minutes of silence before Tony admitted, “I thought that you could use someone to talk to. You’ve been avoiding us since this morning.”

Steve nodded, looking forward as well. 

“Sorry,” Steve told him. “And I’ll apologize to the others. I shouldn’t have lost my temper.”

Tony nodded. 

“You don’t need to apologize, we understand, and likely would’ve had the same reaction had we been there,” Tony answered, his voice gentle but also treading lightly. “We just don’t think that you should be alone to stew in it.”

Steve shakes his head. He closes his eyes for a moment before casting his head down.

“I should’ve grabbed her,” Steve explained. “When she gave the other kid to me I should’ve known something was going to happen. I should’ve grabbed her before she had the chance to push me away.”

“She still would’ve been in the blast,” Tony replied. “The same outcome could’ve happened. And you could’ve got hurt or be in the same position she is now depending on how that floor would’ve fell on you, those kids might not be alive…she knew what she was sacrificing and she wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Steve pursed his lips.

“Her heart was always for helping and saving other people,” Tony commented and immediately Steve nodded in agreement. It was the reason she joined Hydra, and the reason why she left it immediately afterwards when she and her brother knew the truth, and why she stayed with them. It was why she became an Avenger.

There was another small period of silence before he felt Tony shift slightly beside him.

“I cared for her too, Steve,” Tony admitted quietly, his voice tight. “We all did.”

Steve closed his eyes, breathing hard to hold back the tears trying to escape. It wasn’t fair what he said this morning. Wanda was a part of the team; she was a part of their family (even if it was unconventional and not all of them described it that way).

“I know,” Steve replied, opening his eyes. He was selfish. All of them stared down at her in that bed and felt the same, some had just been able to accept a truth he was too upset to admit. 

The air felt heavy and both of them felt like it was too thick to breathe, reality and memories mixing together as though to drown them slowly.

Finally, Tony cleared his throat to catch his voice again.

“Do you remember those horrible nightmares she would get, the ones where—”

“—they were so bad that we would see them too because of her powers outreached to all of us?” Steve broke off and continued. He nods, “Yeah…those were awful.”

“Yeah,” Tony agreed, nodding a few times before he shifted in the seat. “Do you remember when she would remember the images of the bomb that was falling as she looked outside the window…that ‘Stark’ was printed clearly on the outside that she could see.”

Even though none of them had said anything about it, they remembered. They knew, especially considering during the nightmare it was the words that were one of the things that were most in focus when Wanda was having the nightmare. 

“Yeah,” Steve admitted.

Tony paused for a moment before continuing, his voice lower than what it normally was. 

“I couldn’t get it out of my head for a long time…” Tony admitted. “I knew that was a part of my past and I come to admit to myself that my weapons would’ve been used for bombing civilians. I wasn’t an idiot. It was just…I never really saw it happen besides when it almost happened to me.”

There was another pause and Tony continued his train of thought, his voice going lower as he forced himself to keep looking forward.

“Months later, we had a press conference. You and Natasha were off on some field trip for Fury, Legolas was back at his farm likely feeding the chickens he named after us, but they wanted a small press conference with the Avengers, which at the time also included Wanda so she came. Most of the questions were about Ultron, and about Vision, and I’m not completely sure _how _it came up anymore, but there was soon a quick discussion of my relation to accidentally creating Ultron to my past weapons usage,” Tony explained. “And lets just say that those questions went downhill from there pretty quickly.”

Steve nodded. He could imagine. He heard a bit of conversation about it on the news or within the Tower, but very vaguely. Not many details, and he didn’t particularly care to hear more in depth about it. He’s been to numerous conferences, and he knew that Tony could handle those perfectly after so many years of practice.

“Before Pepper could try to deter the questions and accusations to another topic, Wanda stood up in her chair,” Tony looked down, almost with guilt, “and she defended me. She said that it shouldn’t matter what I did in my past because I wasn’t aware of the use of the weapons, and that what was important was that I turned it around, and that I stopped. She said that everyone had a past, but that as long as they changed to do better that was what mattered the most.”

Steve smiled a little. Listening to the story, he could place the image of Wanda, going past her fear of what people would think of her (especially she was not often placed in positive portrayals in the media) to defend others. It was like her override, something that came automatically to defend those that she cared about. Her face and voice tight, a tone with almost an underlying warning in it to back off. She would fight and defend. That definitely sounded like Wanda. 

“Even after everything I’d done to her,” Tony frowned. “The past that she defended was the past that killed her parents, and that led her to joining Hydra in the first place. Yet she _defended_ me and completely diffused the situation and accusations.”

Steve nodded and Tony paused for a moment before shaking his head, taking a deep breath. Although Steve just barely heard it, he almost heard Tony sniff, as though trying to keep his control and composure, but he wasn’t sure and he certainly didn’t say anything.

Tony still remembered the expression on her face, the anger and protectiveness she had glaring them down, the body language that made her suddenly look three feet taller than what she normally was and the solid stance she had as she almost threw back her chair from standing up so fast. She instantly captured the room’s attention and her tone made everyone aware to drop the subject. And while the tone wasn’t kind, the words to his defence were. And when she sat back down, there were nervous shuffles and coughs around the room before the reporters slowly went back to other questions that they had. Tony tried to gulp, but it was tight. She didn’t particularly look at him for the rest of the panel questions, but she still sat with a protective stance, ready to start again.

“And God knows that I wasn’t the warmest to her when she first came here,” Tony whispered, shaking his head. “I was ready to box Barton over the head every hour for a month.”

Nodding, Steve looked in front of him at the city around them and how the sun glinted over the horizon.

“There was something gentle and endearing about her,” Tony said thoughtfully.

“That’s who she was,” Steve agreed. She was a garden and a storm. What was that quote Clint brought up? Something about her being half-goddess, half-hell? “Someone who was scared, but protective and cared a lot about people. Thoughtful but powerful.”

Tony closed his eyes and Steve looked down at the photo in his hand. 

“As cautious as she was to come here and be a part of the team, and as hard as it was for her to get over the loss of her brother, she opened up and became a part of us too. From the beginning when she nervously came to our dinner and movie nights to the baking food fight you four made in my kitchen, getting damn flour everywhere, and going to an amusement park for the first time, she became a part of all of us…” Tony commented, his voice not wavering but tight as he thought up the memories himself “You were right, Steve. She had a lot of heart.”

Blinking his tears away, Steve nodded. She did have a lot of heart, and it led her to her death by making sure that he and those kids got out when she knew that they didn’t have time. Tony looked out in front of them again, gulping. 

“Steve, she’s not going to wake up,” Tony said in a tone of soft acceptance, and Steve could’ve sworn it was both towards him and to Tony himself.

Gulping, Steve stared at Wanda in the picture, how her smile glowed like it was a source of light in darkness. It was a smile of pure bliss and pure happiness; a picture that captured true, unguarded emotion. He always wanted to remember Wanda like this, the true person she was. 

“I know,” Steve replied, his voice tight but of acknowledgement.

Tony let out a slightly shaky breath. He gulped and shifted again, this time to stand up straighter. Steve knew Tony enough to know that he was trying to force himself into a new mood and profile, almost like a reboot. But he knew that this time the facade shield didn’t go as deeply as he usually made it.

“I think this is the closest we’ve ever been, Rogers,” Tony commented, trying to make his tone lighter. He even forced a smile to come.

Steve couldn’t help but sputter out a laugh, unable to help it. That was the one strange thing about Tony that Steve didn’t always understand, or like. Tony could so easily manipulate his outer appearance and emotions to put on whatever mask that he wanted. He knew it was a coping mechanism, a protective measure so that people wouldn’t get too close to him. It took him a bit when they first met to realize the annoying act he put out was more about him putting on a mask, but he didn’t like how Tony felt like he always had to have one even if after so many years of the Avengers being together. It wasn’t like it was before, but it was still there when Tony felt he needed it. Steve could understand it this time. If he could put his emotions more at an arms length away to help him detach and cope, he’s not sure if he would take the chance or not.

But at any rate, he was glad for Tony trying to lighten up the conversation. And he knew that it was hard for Tony to get so deep and open with someone,It was like him, get in deep then bring it out and recover. And maybe that was what he needed. 

“Yeah,” Steve nodded in agreement. He shakes his head and doesn’t realize the smile on his face. They didn’t have a lot of conversations like this, but it _was_ nice. Although it didn’t always show, or he couldn’t always articulate it, Tony was one of the most caring person that he ever knew. “It feels weird,” he joked, also helping the other to feel a bit lighter from the heavy mood.

Tony snorted and nodded, “definitely. Don’t go all sappy on me, Rogers.” 

Steve shook his head but the smile was widening slightly on his face. Tony turns a bit and raises his hand to pat Steve’s shoulder. The actions spoke as loud as the words he said.

Tony cleared his voice and said, “we should probably get back to the room. Spend as much time with her and together as we can.”

Steve nodded.

“How’s Clint doing?” he asked, remembering the other man’s feelings this morning as well.

“Natasha went to talk to him,” Tony replied.

Steve continued to nod. She was likely the best person, at least around the Tower right now, for him to talk to. 

Steve looked at Tony and commented, “we should get back to the others.” Even if he wasn’t sure if he was completely ready to face Wanda again, knowing what was to come, he knew that being with the others would help him heal and give him peace for what he knew would be coming soon.

“We probably should,” Steve agreed.

Tony nods before letting out a quick sigh before forcing himself up, placing his hands on his thighs to help him up. Steve watches him for a moment before turning to his side to gain his balance and get up from the floor. Tony holds out his hand but before Steve could take the gesture, Tony commented, “need help, old man, or do I need to call Life Alert?”

Steve rolled his eyes, hating yet relieved at the smile on his face. For the moment, he was grateful for Tony’s ridiculous jokes to lighten the mood, and he knew that he was mostly doing it for Steve’s benefit.

“Ever the mature one,” Steve replied as he got to his feet.

“Why on Earth would I need to be mature?” Tony replied and Steve shook his head, but the smile still pressed at his lips and cheeks.

As they began to walk to the doorway past Steve’s common room and to the elevator, Steve moved to pat his hand on Tony’s shoulder too. A silent thank you, but he knew that Tony would understand.

As they got into the elevator, Steve and Tony looked out at the window again as they pressed the floor to the infirmary. 

“It’s a beautiful sunset,” Steve commented.

Tony nodded, “yeah, one of the reasons I had all the windows set up on that side of the Tower.”

And with that, the doors shut and they were already moving back down in the elevator. It was quiet, only the weird elevator music that Steve never quite understood how it became a genre in itself, but at the same the silence was contenting. Nothing weird or awkward. They both were just taking the time for themselves while still feeling the company of each other. 

When they got to their floor, Tony checked the time on his watch before he called out loud, “FRIDAY, make an order of our regular pizza Team Order and Chinese Team Order for immediate delivery.” 

“Of course, Boss,” FRIDAY answered and after a few seconds that they took to walk out the elevator, the AI replied, “The order has been placed, the likely time of delivery will be within 20-30 minutes for the pizza and 20-40 minutes for the Chinese food.”

“Might as well get dinner while I think of it or we won’t be eating for the rest of the night,” Tony commented.

“It’s a good idea,” Steve told him, hoping to bring him a bit of relief. He knew how Tony could stress himself out to make sure that things were taken care of, and with the type of stressed and timeless atmosphere that was filling the Tower, he knew that Tony was doing his best to keep as much control and care of the situation that he could. Plus, they _would_ need to eat and it might help them all to feel better. “Now that I think about it…I haven’t ate anything all day…except for the few bites of pancakes Bruce made this morning.” 

And he was sure that epiphany was mutual for a lot of the others.

“Damn,” Tony realized, “I didn’t get to eat my waffles.” They were probably still sitting on the counter in the kitchen, unless someone cleaned them up.

Both of them knew that it was not a thing that mattered in the least. However, both of them couldn’t help how the side of their mouths tugged up slightly. A terrible time for a light hearted joke.

Making their way past the main desk and down the short hallway to the room they were in that morning, Steve forced himself to look into the window into the hospital room so that he could prepare himself for what was in there, as though looking in there was a barrier emotionally and physically to what was on the inside. As though if what he saw would be a warm-up to what would happen when he entered the room.

What he saw surprised him though. Wanda was still the same; same position, same IVs and machinery attached to her, same closed eyes. It was almost like she was sleeping. It was something peaceful, yet made dread bubble in his stomach.

_She wasn’t going to wake up_.

The room erupted into laughter again, forcing Steve’s gaze away from her face. The laughter was muffled from the closed door, but the smiles—the actual _genuine_ smiles—on their faces proved that he did not mistake the sound of the laughter. They were all staring at a laptop on Clint’s lap. The archer still had one hand in Wanda’s, Vision still holding the other, and his laptop was facing the rest of the room as he seemed to scroll or click from one thing to the next. There was lightly laughter, real smiles, even one on Clint’s face as he would say something excitedly, almost like he was explaining something.

Tony furrowed his eyebrows at the image in front of him too but inevitably shrugged before looking over at Steve beside him. 

“You okay to go in?” he asked.

His voice didn’t seem like Tony was so sure either, but Steve nodded.

“Yeah.”

He couldn’t hide from this. And he didn’t want to stay away from Wanda any longer.

Steve let out one last breath before he turned the knob and stepped inside. Even though the others could’ve seen outside the room and through the blinds just as much as Steve and Tony could see in, they all looked over to the doorway. There were mixed faces that immediately appeared when they saw Steve step in, Tony quickly behind him. For some, their smiles held when they saw the super soldier or they would even brighten a bit more. For a few others, he watched as their faces dropped slightly in a bit of a small panic or pity. They wanted to say something, wanted to comfort him somehow, but he stopped them before they could. 

“You don’t need to say anything,” Steve promised them, holding up his hands as though in surrender. 

“We—,” Bruce started before Sam cleared his voice, carefully cutting him off. All of them still had a look of carefulness in their eyes. Maybe it was because all of them wanted to tread lightly and not set off his anger or pain again.

“How are you?” Natasha asked, breaking through from the others and ignoring Sam’s slightly pointed look.

Steve thought for a moment before looking over at Tony before answering, “better.”

Tony smiled at him and so did Natasha. Did she look paler?, Steve wondered. The feeling of ‘better’ seemed to be going around. From their smiles, even if some of their faces had a shadow of pain in them, ‘better’ seemed to be the best any of them could do. None of them felt good, none of them felt okay, but perhaps ‘better’ was a start. 

“I’m glad,” Natasha told him.

Steve nodded before taking a glance over at Wanda in the bed. Still the same. The blonde looked down, pursing his lips lightly.

“I’m sorry about this morning,” Steve told them, placing his hand on the back of his neck. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper and yelled like I did. And I’m sorry for what I said, that wasn’t fair to any of you.”

There was a small moment of silence before Steve felt a hand on his shoulder. He could see from the shoes who it was and he felt some relief from the touch of a friend.

“You don’t need to apologize for anything,” Natasha promised him. “This morning was…hard. No one is angry at you or hurt. None of us were our best this morning. We all just wanted to make sure that _you_ would be okay.”

“And if it makes you feel any better,” Rhodey started. Steve turned his head to look at him. “In my time with the military, I’ve seen people have reactions that were a lot worse and more violent than yours, and in many cases their stories were similar to yours. You handled that news pretty well for what happened.”

Steve nodded slightly, a small smile tugging at his lips. Maybe it was what Rhodey said. Or from Natasha’s words of comfort. But he felt like the weight around his shoulders wasn’t so heavy anymore. 

Sam cleared his voice again slightly, drawing eyes to him. He looked at Steve, a sympathetic look on his face, but his eyes were on Steve’s, showing Steve that he was giving his full attention to the blonde.

“The doctors…and all of us,” he briefly looks around to everyone, showing him that it was a decision they made together yet making sure Steve knew that it wasn’t a ‘team against him’ decision. His voice was gentle, “we thought that the doctors should take her off life-support tonight…if you agree.”

Steve gulped. He couldn’t feel his legs and if he saw for sure that Sam was the same height as he was before and after, as was everyone else, he would’ve thought that he fell down. He gulped, pursing his lips while everyone else watched how his hands almost began to tremble slightly, moving in and out of a fist.

Finally, forcing himself to nod the blonde took in a small breath. Tonight would be good. It would be quick. The team wouldn’t be around her for days, wouldn’t be staring at her body and somehow hoping that she would wake up or just getting deeper and deeper in their depression of knowing that she wouldn’t. What would they even be waiting on anyway if he said no. Nothing would change, nothing could. 

As much as he hated it, as much as he couldn’t breath, as much as he felt his heart contracting so hard it was enveloping itself entirely,it was best to move on quickly. For him and for the team. And for Wanda, who shouldn’t just be laying in a hospital forever. She deserved her peace, and the team deserved their time to recover. 

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. Even if he wasn’t ready to let her go, he would force himself to be; for him and for the team. 

The others nodded and by the way a few of their shoulders fell or how their faces lightened a bit he knew that they felt better about the decision as well. It was almost as though they were walking on ice and they were ready for it to crack and their would fall through. And he hated that, hated how he did that to them. He didn’t want to give them more worry or stress or pain.

Forcing himself to think of something else, he moves to sit in one of the empty chairs in the room that were set by the wall across from her feet. He looks back over to Clint and his laptop, and remembers that the team was laughing before he came in.

“What’s that for?” Steve asked Clint, gesturing with his chin towards the archer.

The look on the other man’s face made it seem like he had forgotten what was on his lap before a lightbulb went off in his head. He suddenly smiled again, still as bright and genuine as it was before.

“I remembered that I had some pictures and videos of Wanda from when we did different things, both in and out of the tower…also I just had pictures of her,” Clint explained.

At the admission, a few of the other members cocked their heads or raised their eyebrows.

“Like…just random pictures of her around the Tower?” Sam asked, his face twisting slightly in confusion, “like a stalker?”

Clint makes a face like he is offended, but Steve could also tell that behind it he was trying not to laugh. 

“They are cute photos!” Clint insists, “like just catching her when she is on the couch, or capturing her smile and laugh when she doesn’t think anyone is looking or she doesn’t have to force it for a camera.”

“So…like a stalker?” Rhodey commented.

As all the others moved to make their own faces, Natasha almost snorted from the side of the room.

“He has pictures of all of you,” Natasha informed them, almost casually as she looked over at Clint and grinned. As though she was winning something.

Steve thought for a moment as he tried to remember ever seeing Clint with a phone or camera in his hands where he could’ve taken pictures of Steve. Then again, if what Clint said was true about sneaking the pictures, Steve wondered how many times he just didn’t see the camera because he was looking at something else, or he didn’t see one because he wasn’t looking for one.

“Wait,” Tony held up a hand, eyes moving up as though he was thinking of something, “you have secret pictures of all of us??”

“What exactly is the point of them?” Sam asked, though the smile was slowly spreading on his face as the atmosphere in the room became lighter. 

“Hey, I just take them because I think they are cute. You’d be surprised how genuine you all look when you aren’t trying to posture or look a certain way when you think something is being captured. It’s a true moment that I catch,” Clint tried to explain before he uses a hand to gesture to Natasha. “And at least I keep my pictures because I think they are endearing. Natasha keeps hers because she likes to have material for blackmail!”

Everyone’s faces suddenly went to Natasha, who wasn’t looking at any of them either. Natasha was looking up at the ceiling, smiling slightly with an expression that declared she was thinking about something before the smile became wider and she almost laughed.

Tony rolled his eyes so hard Steve was sure he heard them.

“_Spies_,” Tony muttered and almost everyone burst into a snort or light laughter.

Steve was still smiling, though not completely aware of it, when Clint turned his attention back to the laptop. He looks down at the video that was up, ready to cue before he remembered something.

“Hey, Steve, you’re in this one,” Clint told him.

Immediately, Steve raised an eyebrow and he looked at the screen that Clint was showing everyone. All he could see was a blur of blue, very light blue, but a lot of white. There was also some grey and he saw lots of colours of very blurry people. Or at least, what he assumed was people. 

“Do you remember when we took Wanda skating for the first time?” Clint asked.

Steve stared at the video for a moment before the memory suddenly came to the front of his thoughts. He smiles again, this time feeling it because his cheeks actually moved with the motion. His face brightened slightly. Their first winter and they learned that Wanda had never gone skating. Although Pietro learned after they joined Hydra’s experiments, apparently Hydra thought that since Wanda could fly across ice, teaching her to skate was not at the forefront of her training. After that, Steve had an idea.

“Yeah,” Steve whispered, not realizing his eyes were almost glossing over.

Clint smiled back though, looking down at the laptop to watch the video as well. 

When it started, Steve saw that the camera was still a little shaky before it came more into focus. It was moving, almost gliding and Steve remembered how Clint took the video on his personal phone. 

They were moving past a few other people who were participating in the free skate. It was later in the day, when most people had gone home. He recognized himself in the video, in a lightly puffy coat and in a hat and scarf to help disguise himself slightly. Only a few others recognized him and caught a few pictures, or talked to them. But at the time, people were too focused on themselves and their own good time skating to really look at Steve. And Steve tried to look as inconspicuous as he possibly could.

Clint came to two people in particular that were skating close to the wall of the rink, one was struggling slightly to completely stay upright with shaking legs while the other was smoothly, but slowly skating backwards, hands outstretched and ready to hold the other’s arms that were rigidly held out for balance.

When the camera man came closer to the two, the girl turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

“Are you filming me?!” Wanda asked in disbelief, narrowing her eyes at him as though to squint and get a better look at him.

“It’s your first time skating!” Clint tried to defend himself. Even Steve raised an eyebrow, but as Wanda swayed slightly in her balance, he immediately looked back to her and jolts slightly in quick action as he held out his arms closer to her, lowering them so they were at easy access to her again. However, it seemed that she didn’t need them because she found her balance again.

“You’re making me lose my focus!” she laughs as tries to argue.

“Trust me, kid, you’ll appreciate me getting this moment!” Clint said from behind the camera as he zoomed out as Wanda and Steve got closer to him as they made their way in the oval around the rink.

“What? You want to capture the moment of me falling?!” she asked, straightening a bit as she realize she was bending her knees too much. She holds out her hands, carefully taking strides forward. 

“I never said you were going to fall,” Clint comments and they can almost hear the grin on his face. “Trust me, Wanda, you’ll want to remember this moment.”

She gives him an incredulous look and shakes her head, but the wide smile was still on her face. She rolls her eyes and tells him, a tone of disbelief and teasing in her voice, “Zvláštna osoba.” 

Steve watches himself chuckle slightly, a smile on his face in the video from the teasing even if he didn’t know what it meant, and turns his head from the camera back to Wanda, still skating backwards and holding his arms out in case she needs them.

“What?!” Clint asked from behind the camera, the image shaking slightly. “What did you just call me?!”

Wanda had already passed him, gaining a bit of speed but also remaining cautious as she got used to the skates. They could hear her laughing loudly as she passed him in the video, the wide smile on her face as she laughed. Other people turned their heads slightly, some even taking pictures, but Steve remembered at that point that they were past the moment of truly caring to document that the Avengers were there if they recognized them.

“Hey, kid! You’re going to get it later!” Clint called back, but all of them could hear the laughter in his voice as it almost hiccuped as he tried to hold it in and pretend to be mad from behind the camera.

The image of Wanda continuing to skate, Steve keeping an easy pace in front of her, followed the video for a little bit. Although Wanda’s back was to the camera, they all knew that the smile was still glowing on her face. Almost brighter than the sun. 

Steve stared at his own smile as he watched the video. After a few minutes of zooming in on the pair skating, Clint had begun to skate after them. The video was shaky, but as he skated closer to them, making as graceful strides as he could on skates and dodging the people skating by, he found their side again. 

“You’re getting the hang of it,” Steve on the camera encouraged as Clint moved so that he was skating beside them. Steve couldn’t help but almost feel a hitch in his breath as he watched his own smile as he skated in front of Wanda, double checking over his shoulders every now and then to ensure they wouldn’t run into anyone. 

The Steve in that video was having one of the most carefree and happy days of his life. Where they weren’t focusing on training for the next possible things to come invade them or go wrong on the planet. Where they weren’t just the Avengers. They were people having fun, sharing an activity they enjoyed for their new teammate. That Steve and Clint completely unaware of what would happen just months after this day, at that point living in the moment of just being _people_ not heroes and watching their teammate have fun and smile some of the widest smiles they’d ever seen on her face. 

Even though his chest fell tight, he stared at the smile that Clint’s video soon focused on as it panned to her as Clint skated beside Steve. Wanda looked up at him and tried to push the camera out of her face, but the wide smile and laughter indicated she wasn’t too upset.

“Can you at least not have it touching my nose?” she giggled. 

“Clint can you not be in Dad Mode for just two seconds to give her a bit of room,” Steve laughed.

Steve almost snorted as Clint closed his eyes and shook his head with a beaming smile on his face. Even Tony was trying to hold back a chuckle.

“I’m going to be using that more often,” Tony almost whispered and Steve had to hold in a grin.

“Alright alright,” video Clint relented, and the image already moved a bit farther away from the two Avengers, revealing that Clint was giving Wanda a bit of room. The camera followed her for a bit as she continued to skate, other skaters giving the three of them room until.

At least until there was a loud ringing that soon dominated the video. “Hold on,” video Clint replied from behind the camera.

The viewer got one last look at Wanda in the background as the focus of the camera switched and moved down as Clint went to check and see who it was. The last image they saw was of her smiling, saying something to Steve. After a few seconds later, she laughed again.

Steve wished he remembered what that conversation was, but although he could remember that day, he could not remember every detail of it.

Soon, the video froze on the screen to indicate it was over. There was a collective sigh among all of them as they stared at the blank screen, shoulders dropping slightly in the acceptance that it was over. Even just in a video it seemed that Wanda’s presence had lifted them and eased them all, and now that it was over it was as though the cloud below their feet disappeared. 

“After I became a dad, and being away from my kids for so long, I realized how great videos and pictures can be to capture a moment,” Clint commented, running a hand over his mouth as he stared down at the screen. He let out a sigh. “I just wish I got more of her.”

Everyone nodded. 

Sam cracked a smile on his face and answered, “this kind of reminded me of the day we took Wanda to an amusement park for the first time.”

Almost instantly, there was the contagion of smiles that came like a wave across the room. Even Steve couldn’t hold a frown at just the thought of that day without even needing to think of specific moments and memories. That had been another great day. What had started as Wanda seeing a commercial for Six Flags and asking what roller coasters and amusement parks were all about led to the team’s shocked assessment that Wanda had never been on a rollercoaster before. Even _Steve_ had been on one of those, much to Natasha’s force, and probably her curiosity to see his reaction. For his first one he had almost gotten sick, not expecting the sudden speed and force and weightlessness. But there was also something in him yearning for more. And he went n another, and another.

The team had quickly found a day that they could all go and Steve didn’t know about the others, but it was one of his brightest, best memories of their team together. The day was sunny, and they were all excited to show Wanda something that both terrified them and excited them. They even managed to drag Tony on a few of the tamer ones. Clint was constantly amping her up to further excite her to help make sure she would have a good time. 

It was one of those times, rarer than he would’ve liked, that Wanda had a pure smile on her face. Nothing held back from it, nothing forced. Something so genuine it was like you saw right into the person, that they became their own sun. Her smile was infectious, contagious whenever they looked over at her and saw that smile. Although a little hesitant the morning of, she spent the whole day smiling and laughing, even when she was on a ride she would laugh as she screamed. She had constantly been asking to go to the next one, one that was faster or had a deeper drop.

It was one of the best days they had spent as a team, if only Thor were there to really get the party going when he got hyped up. He wondered what Thor’s response would be to rollercoasters. Knowing the Norse god, he was sure Thor would have at least tried to go on one, if for any reason than it was just to prove that he would. They even managed to convince _Vision_ to go on a few rides.

Sam thinks for a moment at the memory before he continues, “I have the pictures from that day too.”

The others nodded, smiling a little. They knew the pictures he was referring to. The ones that he and the others sneaked when at the amusement park, and the few they had from when they were riding the rollercoasters. Her hair flying in the wind, all their mouths open with laughter and smiles.

“Go get them,” Steve commented. When everyone turned to him, he explained, “those images and moments, those are the ones she’d want us to remember her by.”

There was a slight pause, as though unsure if they should get the pictures out of fear of opening up the wound even larger than the black hole it already was, but they also knew that there was something to what Steve was saying. Perhaps opening up the wound might also help it to heal. Allow it to drain, allow it to heal instead of festering and becoming infected; instead of having things build up and get worse.

Sam finally nods after taking a look around the room before he gets up. “I’ll be back in a moment.”

“Boss?” FRIDAY’s voice from above them declared, “the take-out for dinner is here.”

Tony leaned back a bit more in his chair before he nodded, double checking his phone before absentmindedly replying, “thank you, FRIDAY. Send them up.”

“Right away,” the AI replied before it seemed it had gone off to do what it was asked.

Clint looked over at Tony and raised an eyebrow. “Talking to someone?”

Tony paused for a moment before he jolted, looking up and realizing that the question was for him. He blinked a few times before he admitted, finding his thoughts and voice again.

“Oh,” Tony gathered himself back to reality again. “Pepper just confirmed that she is on her way. She thinks the jet will land in an hour or so.”

Clint nodded, an understanding filling his eyes, as though they were drowning. The archer takes a glance over at Natasha before he looks back to Tony and admits, “Laura is going to be coming later tonight…probably after…well…” He cleared his throat but Tony nodded in understanding. 

Steve nodded as well. There was a small thought about a wish for Peggy or Bucky to be here in the room with him, to help him stay supported. However, before the thought could begin to really take root, Steve feels a hand in his. Jumping out of his thoughts, his head turns to look down at his hand. The touch was likely more gentle than Steve was sure he would ever feel it as again. Natasha smiled gently at him, squeezing his hand in the silent message. He may not have them here, but he had the rest of his new family here. 

And they were all here, together.

Steve stared over at Wanda again as the delivery men came in. People were immediately talking, passing around the food and setting up plastic plates that Tony had one of the delivery men bring in. Sam had come in sometime too, holding the pictures he was talking about and talking in mock annoyance about how they had waited for him to leave before getting the food, earning a laugh from everyone else. The room echoed in it, and for a moment Steve felt at ease even if his chest ached. 

He thanked Natasha when she placed the plate full of a mosh pit of pizza and Chinese food, briefly taking a look over at her before laughter and talking continued as they ate, the pictures being passed around. Slowly the volume and the genuineness of the laughter grew and got deeper. Whenever Steve would answer them, or take a look around his eyes would soon fall back to Wanda afterwards. Wanda who was silent, but not empty.

Despite the ache, and the knowledge of what he knew was coming, there was comfort in the fact that everyone else was here. There was the ache of Wanda, but also the comfort of her. She brought them here and despite the horrible circumstances, the relief of it also came when he looked around the room. It was the knowledge that they were all in the same room, all sharing stories, all looking out for each other. It was the relief to know that they were all supported. In the worse of times, they were not their worse selves.

The relief that all of them were, and there was a, Together. 

She was a quiet strength. And at the moment, she was a tie that was holding them together even if they felt bare and wounded. They were brought together to support and be with her, and to support each other. In the face of everything that happened, they were brought together, finding strength in their love for and to help each other.

And until they said their final goodbye to her, they would stay with her and with each other, smiling, laughing, and grudgingly holding back tears as they shared memories. And somewhere, he was sure of it, Wanda was smiling with them.

* * *

“Are you ready?” Dr. Cho asked gently a few hours later, looking around at the team as she stood at the respiratory machines that were helping Wanda—_Wanda’s body_, Steve reminded himself—to breathe. 

The team was quiet as they surrounded Wanda. Clint had a seat by her bed, still holding her hand and staring intently at her while Vision was on the other, holding her other hand. Natasha and Bruce were side by side close behind him while Tony stood on the other side of Wanda, staring down at her as though guarding her. Rhodey and Pepper were beside him, Tony gripping Pepper’s hand so hard that Steve noticed how white the knuckles were, but Pepper didn’t say anything. Sam was beside him, silent but keeping a companionship presence. Even Fury arrived, standing at the door, but watching and wanting to pay his respects all the same. All of them slightly cramped with all the machines and medical centre’s nurses present, but none of them could bare to leave to give them more space. Dr. Cho seemed to understand and did her best to work around them.

Steve felt sick. He felt like he couldn’t breathe and judging by how silently but noticeably his teammates shoulders or stomachs were rising and falling, he knew that the feeling was mutual.

It had been dead silent as the nurses and Dr. Cho set themselves up, knowing what was to come but still feeling their stomachs dropping lower and lower.

“Once I turn off the machines, the nurses will start unhooking her IVs until the heart monitor gives us a flat line,” Dr. Cho explained so that they knew what to expect. “After that, we will unhook her to all the monitors, and we can wheel her out to another room to take out the breathing tube…and get her set up for the morgue.”

“Jesus, Tony, I didn’t even know you had one of those here,” Sam commented. 

Realizing that his name was mentioned, Tony just shrugged. “I thought it should be prepared for everything.” And a good thing too, he realized, or Wanda may have to be moved to another location. 

“Is there any way for her to be placed so that she’s not in a cold metal box?” Clint asked. 

Dr. Cho shook her head. 

“Unfortunately it is the best way to preserve her body. We do not have any embalmments. It won’t be for long, and we won’t be doing an autopsy, so there will be no delays for her burial,” Dr. Cho explained gently.

“Embalming goes against the Jewish faith anyway,” Natasha commented gently.

Fury cleared his voice before explaining, his voice a tone softer than what it normally was, “we do have a casket ready for her, as well as a plane to take all of you to Sokovia when you are ready, so she won’t need to stay in a morgue for long. We don’t have an officiant, but I cleared it with the council for Wanda to be buried by her brother. There are already agents there digging.”

“Thank you,” Vision told him, as morbid as the sentence was, turning his head to look back at Fury. “She would’ve wanted it that way.”

“And we can do the ceremony ourselves,” Steve agreed. 

Fury nodded. He cleared his voice and took a small step forward as more people turned to look at them.

“We are setting up a press announcement tomorrow morning, however I can do that so that you can leave for Sokovia early tomorrow morning,” Fury explained.

There was a brief pause before Steve shook his head.

“No,” he replied. “We should do it.”

There was nodding in agreement around the room. 

“Would we be able to contact a chevra kadisha?” Bruce asked. 

Fury’s gaze moved to all of them for a moment before shaking his head.

“Unfortunately due to security reasons we cannot allow an outsider in to set up the body. We do have employees that specifically do these set-ups and he understands the process of Tahara,” Fury explained.

Natasha looked up and requested, “let me do it.”

Fury paused for a few seconds, but nodded. Steve and Vision both looked at Natasha, grateful for the initiative. Steve felt better knowing that it wouldn’t be a stranger getting Wanda ready or seeing her like this and that it would be someone who would take great care doing it. And he had a feeling Wanda would likely agree. 

Vision turned to the doctor and explained, “Dr. Cho, I will follow you to the morgue,” He then turned to the others. “And I’ll stay with her for the night.”

Steve nodded unconsciously, lost in his thoughts. A shomer. Wanda had been her brother’s when he died and explained to them what that meant. He didn’t know if Vision would know the psalms he was supposed to say, but then again he was a network of knowledge so it was likely he at least knew them, or knew how to access them.

The others nodded.

After that, there was a pause of silence. It was big, suffocating. They were done the discussion.

Dr. Cho looked around again and asked again in a small voice, “are we ready?”

There was a lot of deep breaths, or sighs, that carried around the room in anticipation as everyone stared down at Wanda again. She was still in the same position she had been since she had been when she was first brought in. She still had the peaceful look on her face.

Finally, Steve nodded.

“Yeah,” he replied.

There were a few shaky breaths and Steve gulped, but he kept his eyes open. He watches Tony gently pat her shoulder and whisper a ‘thank you’, to her. Pepper gave him a small smile and used her other arm to rub the one closest to her. 

“Find peace, love,” Vision said softly, stroking her hair again.

Natasha leaned slightly towards Bruce, who leaned closer to her in return.

“Until we meet again,” Natasha whispered, a soft smile slowly surfacing her face. “Like old friends.” 

Steve smiled softly at that, as did a few others. A gentle promise. Steve wasn’t completely sure if he believed in an afterlife or not. He grew up Catholic, but over the century after becoming a super soldier, meeting aliens from other universes, and especially from his teammate being a Norse god, his sense of a God—or at least a god-like figure—became sort of twisted and shifted. But he liked to believe that there was something out there. That Wanda would be re-united with her brother and mother. That one day, if it ever came, that he would be re-united with his mother, with Peggy and the Howling Commandos, maybe even Howard Stark. But it was a nice thought to think that Wanda and Pietro might be there on the other side too. That this wasn’t an end.

When everyone was silent, Dr. Cho took it as her cue to start. She nods to a nurse who begins to take out Wanda’s IV as another nurse removed the monitors that were stuck to her chest, pulling the handful of wires together. After that, Dr. Cho shut off the respiratory monitor before going to the respirator and after a moment’s paused, shut it off before another person unhooked the tube. Setting the IV aside safely, another nurse grabbed a clipboard and looked at the heart monitor. 

There were shaky breaths as everyone stared at the heart monitor. At first nothing happened, for a few seconds it beeped as normal. And then slowly, levels began to go down before a sudden drop. Soon after the film was erratic beeping, numbers and the line indicating her heart rate quickly dropping on the monitor screen. The team held on, watchingWanda as her chest slowly fell, and Steve swore he saw the last time it rose. Not too many seconds after that, they watched as the heart monitor flat lined and a high pitched monotone beep filled the room. 

Dr. Cho pursed her lips, but moved two fingers to Wanda’s neck to check her pulse. After a few seconds, Dr. Cho looked towards the clock and said “turn off the monitor.” Another nurse quickly did so, and the silence almost made the room feel empty and shallow.

“Time of death,” Dr. Cho continued before looking at the clock on the wall and then at her own watch, “8:47 p.m.”

Steve closed his eyes, pursing his own lips. There were no sighs as he thought he would hear. They were still holding their breath, lost in their own thoughts.

Opening his eyes again, he stared down at Wanda as the nurses finished unhooking everything they needed before taking her out of the room. His chest felt tight as he stared down at their teammate, their friend, failing to try and blink tears away.

They could still hear her laughter echo in their memory.

It was over, it was done. Although he accepted that she was already dead even before they took her off the respirator, knowing that she was truly gone was unsettling. They had gotten used to the fact that she was here, that there was still a part of her physically there with them. But her timeline was done, and she was gone.

And if she had to go, all of them were glad that she at least went surrounded by her second family, surrounded by those who loved her. 


End file.
